Back in October 2006, I was feeling very overwhelmed with life, work, home and was very pregnant with #3. It was at that time an on-line friend from a Mommy board introduced me to Marla Cilley aka the FlyLady. The FlyLady's encouraging words and humor were absolutely refreshing. I slowly started letting go of the perfectionism that crippled me and kept my home and life in a state of CHAOS ("Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome"). I eagerly developed routines and habits which had my house running on auto-pilot. No more frantic cleaning in order to prepare for guests. No more cleaning all Saturday because there was no time during the week. I had my life back, I had time for my family and my home was finally in order. Sounds like a perfect ending but like all good things, it didn't last.
After going back to work, my routines slowly started to slip. The hustle and bustle of life took over and I turned my attentions to a new love - couponing. Which brings me to the present living once again in chaos and clutter. And once again, I'm turning to the FlyLady to dig myself out of this hole. To quiet those voices which tell me that I'm not good enough as I look about cluttered rooms and piles of laundry.
I've finally come to the realization that it is not an option for me to get organized, it's a MUST! Just as love cannot exists in the presence of fear, peace will not reside in our home until order is restored. The biggest stumbling block to my success in this matter, is me. I see the mess and I instantly want to give up. I don't want to try if I can't do it perfectly. In order to get back to abundant living, I must let go of this negative self-talk.
This weekend I started the FlyLady's Beginning Babysteps again. I started by shining my sink. Though seemingly small and unimportant, I take pride in my shiny sink. Knowing it's just the first of many steps towards gaining control of my home. And now I'm getting dressed to shoes in the mornings. That's something I have to do anyway since I work outside of the home. So for me this step means getting up when the alarm goes off and not hitting snooze a dozen times. Then not rushing around in a frenzy to get myself ready, Ashleigh ready for preschool, the house ready for my Mom and the boys and wondering why I can never get to work on time.
There's still hot spots to be cleared, toys to be picked up in various rooms and baskets of laundry to be put away. But everyday I'm getting closer to living in peace and order.