Last night, I stood in my kitchen feeling every bit like a homemaking failure. Why you ask? Because we were down to just three diapers and a handful of wipes. Shocking I know LOL! I laugh now but yesterday it felt more like evidence of my inability to manage my home. I told myself if I was more on top of things, we wouldn't run out of diapers. If I was better at stockpiling we would never run out of the things we use and need the most. How come I can get loads of free cat treats and Ziploc bags but not diapers?!?
After a bit of quiet time and reflection, I realized I was being a bit overly dramatic. After all, running out of broccoli doesn't send me over an emotional ledge LOL! Like most things, diapers are apart of my weekly grocery list. I buy for the week and when those run out, I buy some more. My initial reaction had very little to do with the actual diapers themselves but more to do with the unrealistic expectations I place on myself.
I've come to the conclusion, that I have to learn how to say NO to myself. To realize that I do have limitations and that I can't do everything. That I have to put down my desire to be the perfect - Christian, wife, mother, daughter, homemaker, couponer, from scratch cook, crafter, thrifter, worker, etc - and just do my best. Easier said than done! Intellectually, I know perfection is absolutely unattainable. But it's almost like knowing that makes me want it even more. It's weird, but that's where I'm at right now. So there's lots of room for improvement and growth!
Today, I said NO to myself by making a change to our menu plan. Originally I had planned to make our favorite BBQ turkey meatballs. I've really been working hard at preparing home made meals for dinner during the week even with working all day. But knowing the time it would take to assemble the meatballs once I got home and not wanting to have another evening of rushing to make dinner while keeping Reedy from getting into everything, I opted for a much simpler Breakfast for Dinner tonight. Not the "perfect" home made meal, but it's the best I can do today!