I've been doing alot of thinking and reading lately on a variety of subjects. Mostly frugality, simple living, finding joy in one's life. I've come across so many fascinating and inspiring blogs. It's almost like I've stumbled onto a gold mine. Today I was reading about a story of hospitality and friendship (from Et Tu). While reading, a certain phrase really stood out to me - God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called. It was an "Aha!" moment.
For so long, I've prayed and anguished over not being a stay at home mom. It's what I feel called to do. I didn't understand why God would place this yearning on my heart to mother a large family but not see fit for me to serve them at home. Why do I have to live with one foot in both worlds? How would I ever reach my true calling?
But this morning, I realized my calling isn't necessarily some future event in which through God's grace I will become united with later. It's not out there, it's not when the money is right or when I find the right job. My calling is RIGHT NOW! Where I am right now - as a working wife and mother - is where God has called me to be. I'm releasing the guilt I've felt in the past. I'm releasing the anger over not being able to change my situation. I'm going forth embracing my life as it is and praising God all the while.
It's not giving up on a dream or passively letting life happen to me. It's accepting God's current will for my life. Where he wants me TODAY. The balance between work and home at times seems impossible. Some days my body feels weak and my spirit feels weary. I've begun to start my days by asking for God's grace to help me make it through the day. For Him to create in me the right heart, the right mind and the right spirit. And remind Him that in His word it says "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (as if He needs reminding - it's really for me LOL!). So Lord today, help me do the impossible!